I'm not even sure where to start.

I'm referring to Dr. George Tiller's assassination, of course. But not *just* that. I mean, I'm horrified that this man lost his life because he stood up for what he believed in, that he followed the law, and he helped a lot of women and their families navigate truly difficult, truly painful situations. I've had an abortion. It's not an easy decision, or one most people take lightly.

Believe me, if I had felt adoption was a viable alternative, I would have done it in a heartbeat. But I was suicidally depressed. Continuing that pregnancy might well have cost my oldest child her only reliable parent. And in most of the cases involving Dr. Tiller, it was about the mother's health, or the child not being viable at birth, and sparing the mother another several months of pregnancy carrying a child doomed to death. No mother should have to endure that. And mentally, I don't know if I could.

But really, all of that is just "stuff". Significant stuff, but still details on a larger issue. Because what's really bothering me isn't the abortion issue itself. That's a personal decision for each individual, and it's a LEGAL right for all women.

What bothers me are the people who feel entitled to enforce their own internal beliefs on others. Just because I believe a woman has a right to choose if she carries a pregnancy to term, doesn't mean I think I have the right to enforce my beliefs on other people. I don't stand outside the homes of unreasonably young pregnant women telling them I think they should either adopt the child out or abort. It's none of my goddamn business.

But there is a very small segment of American Society who seems to believe it does have the right to tell other people what to do, how to live, and what to believe. Right down to who they should worship. I don't know about you, but that is decidedly not my concept of America. In fact, it seems that this is exactly what our ancestors came to America to escape. Persecution.

This is why we have a Constitution. It's why we have laws, and a Supreme Court, and Amendments that state one larger group cannot determine the rights of another, smaller group, just because they want to - we are ALL created Equal. The Majority doesn't have the right to strip rights from a Minority, and no one group has the right to tell other people how to live their lives, so long as they are obeying the laws of our land. That's why we make laws.

But in reading up on the Abortion Issue ( I capitalize that for good reason, as it's the most divisive in our country) it suddenly dawned on me how extreme some people are. Understand, I *did* sort of live in a cave those 10-11 years I was hooked on painkillers to tolerate being in a heterosexual marriage I desperately wanted out of. I didn't "wake-up" until 2005. Hell, I didn't realize I was gay for a good 6 weeks after that. And I didn't have the heart to start reading the news again until last year. Long story - if you don't know me well, you'll have to read my old blogs - or wait for the memoir.

But, boy howdy, the news is really fucking with my head these days. The amount of hatred and bile that spills from these so-called Christians just boggles my mind. The intolerance, the lack of empathy, the sheer fanaticism, is astounding. Even at my most fucked-up, I was never that cruel to anyone. Even most of the people I knew growing up who were Christians weren't that fucked up. And I knew some pretty fucked-up people. Heck, I was related to a lot of them. And I grew up in Texas.

However, looking at the histories of these groups - and their flavor of the week varies, although "the gays" and abortion seem to top the list - I can't help but wonder where their rights to free speech end, and my right to file harassment charges begin. When does the right to freedom of Speech give way to the rights of the individual against harassment, hate crimes, etc.? When does the individual have the right to say "enough"?

I mean, to me, having someone going through my trash, picketing outside my home, or harassing my spouse at work (oh, and don't forget the postcards mailed to Dr. Tiller's staff's neighbors accusing them of being "baby killers"), when does that become prosecutable harassment? That's not "free speech", folks. Calling a man a "mass murderer" on your website is NOT free speech. It's persecution. It's harassment. It's wrong, and there should be laws against it.

And it's that kind of harassment that creates the sort of nutjobs that have now killed FOUR abortion doctors. It's that kind of ignorance that allows four thugs in Boston to beat a guy half to death while calling him a fag - and the one who was caught gets a TWO-YEAR SUSPENDED SENTENCE! (see: dym-sum.com/2009/05/28/no109/)

It's that kind of unregulated hatred that creates violence that should not be tolerated in this country. I could list crime after crime after crime, where people were persecuted due to their race, their beliefs, their orientation. But not one crime has been committed against a right-wing nutjob - unless you count that twit Ashley Todd, who tried to claim she was assaulted by black men who tried to carve "Obama" in her skin - and was eventually discovered to be lying out her ass.

We - "we" being the so-called liberals - don't go around beating people, killing people, stalking people, and generally making their lives miserable because they don't agree with us. We're law-abiding (except for a few of those PETA peeps, whose methods I tend to disagree with) and we just want to live our lives without interference, and within the law. And if we don't like the law, we try to change it. Legally. Because that's what you are *supposed* to do when you don't like the law, right?

Not bully people, or harass them and their neighbors and neighboring businesses. You deal within the system. You don't force the people who live in the system to deal with you, personally. You don't impose your own brand of justice and morality on other people. That is NOT what civilized humans do. In a civilization, we all obey the same rules, or the rules collapse. Civilization collapses. And if we allow these splinter groups to continue to thumb their noses at the rest of society and the laws we live under, then civilization will suffer - because let's face it, there's only so much of this shit you can put up with. If your government doesn't stand with you, and enforce the same rules of engagement on opposing groups, and demand some level of reasonable behavior, then eventually, somebody is going to lash out at these people.

Granted, I would guess that's how they feel. Their government is not respecting their beliefs - the laws went against them. But, just to be snarky for a minute - isn't that what the Prop 8 supporters keep telling us? We lost - they won. Deal with it. And we're dealing with it by taking further legal action, and continuing to fight - legally - for what we believe is right. They keep taking action by harassing people, blowing up clinics, and generally being hateful, all in the name of Baby Jesus. Let's not forget Murder.

Honestly, I think this small group (and really, considering the U.S. population, they are a very small group) deserves it's own disease in the DSM. A delusional psychosis of some sort, perhaps. What they do not deserve is our continued tolerance of their peculiar brand of activism. The insanity has to stop somewhere. Seriously, there oughta be a law against this. Because our current laws allow for too much hatred to be directed at specific groups by people who are obviously too unstable to seek due process. People who will not accept that society is not obligated to adhere to their standards. People who don't seem to grasp due process.

Some might compare the gay marriage struggle with that. But there's a significant difference there. Those of us who want gay marriage aren't asking them to participate in a gay marriage. We're asking for the right to marry. We're not demanding their clergy marry us. We're not demanding their children become gay. We're demanding our own legal rights. And like abortion, you might not like that, but I can assure you it's a right we deserve, and a right we will have in the end. And ultimately, like abortion, it has not a thing to do with their lives or how they live them. I find sleeping with guys to be particularly abhorrent (no offense guys), but you don't see me picketing the homes of heterosexuals telling them how I gross *I* think it is, now do you? That's their business. I think they should mind theirs, and let me mind mine.

It's like people - one of my friends FB friends, in fact - who make comments about how they find it offensive to see books like "My Two Mommies" in a school library. These are people who can't tolerate tolerance. Just as I find heterosex icky - he finds lesbians icky - the difference is I don't feel a need to rant at heterosexuals, or prevent my kids from knowing they exist. How would he feel if his kids were made fun of because he likes girls? But he'll never know how that feels. My youngest may.

It wasn't easy for my kids to come to terms with the announcement that I was a Big Ole' Queer. It took time. Just as anything unfamiliar takes time to process. But because my kids had an emotional investment in me, and we communicated, they adjusted. I was so proud the first time each of them shared with a friend that I'm gay. It meant they'd overcome that society-imposed shame. They'd grown, and grown up a bit.

But the way I see it, the people in these far right Christian sects aren't capable of growth. They're throwing fits, because they aren't getting what they want. They're lashing out at others with violence, because they're immature, and child-like, except without the innocence. They lack empathy, and acceptance. And they excel at blaming other people for their problems.

In short, they are a very extreme, very primal, form of addict. That's what happens with people trapped in addiction. Especially those that cease to develop emotionally and mentally at an early age. They blame everyone else. They want what they want - now. And screw whoever their actions harm. In the case of these people, I think their religious beliefs are their drug. And they get off on forcing other people to acknowledge those beliefs, and abide by them. And if other people don't, well, it becomes a need to control those people. It's not much different than the military wash-outs who have committed murder, or the men who have killed their entire families before killing themselves, lately. It's all about control.

When this sort of personality feels a lack of control, they lash out at the people they blame, or the people they care for. It's always one or the other. Although one could argue, if you kill someone you claim to love, you couldn't really love them all that much. The marine washout who killed his mom, some other relatives, and some strangers - what made him snap? Well, Mom died first. But he didn't stop there, did he? And he's hardly the only one in the past year.

Some people carry so much rage, so much impotence, that all it takes is a personal event in their lives to make them snap. And I think there is a LOT of personal angst in the lives of these people who persecute others. Obviously, there is in the case of the ones who snap and commit violence. But even the ones who simply make it their life's work to harass others who disagree with them - what kind of process do you think is happening there? It's all about a need for control. A need to get other people to comply with your demands. An unwillingness to accept reality.

These people aren't sane. They won't work within the system. They won't tolerate differences. They believe their belief system is the ONLY correct belief system. Observe the comment from Operation Rescue:

“We are shocked at this morning’s disturbing news that Mr. Tiller was gunned down. Operation Rescue has worked for years through peaceful, legal means, and through the proper channels to see him brought to justice. We denounce vigilantism and the cowardly act that took place this morning. We pray for Mr. Tiller’s family that they will find comfort and healing that can only be found in Jesus Christ.”

Note: "...comfort and healing that can only be found in Jesus Christ."

To them, this is the ONLY path.

They can't even imagine that people could believe differently. It's beyond these people. They are that limited, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I mean, first off, there is nothing peaceful about driving around in a big truck with pictures of dismembered fetuses plastered to the side of it. Or digging through someone's trash, sending postcards to their neighbors calling them "baby killers" or harassing their spouse's employer. They haven't worked through "proper channels". The people who followed them have killed in the name of their cause. They have harmed other human beings. All in the name of their belief in the right to life.

They are deranged. And our government should treat them as such. It's one thing to hold to your beliefs, to fight for what you think is right. It is a whole other arena when you drag other people's lives - people who are LIVING within the law - into it. And something needs to change. This cannot be allowed to continue in an allegedly free country.

I've been depressed for a few days now...

And then I realized, after watching a hilarious Monty-Pythonesque rendition of Shakespeare on youtube with my kids, that darn it, being depressed doesn't change a damn thing. And what I want, more than anything right now, is change.

However, the only way to create change is through effort. Effort is hard when you're depressed. But nothing changes if you don't make a decision to do something - then do it.

And that's the problem. So many kids in the state I grew up in become so depressed, they either give up and try to fit the mold their families and communities created for them, or they give up and become addicted to substances, or worse yet, end their lives.

I want to do something about that. I want to give these kids an 'out'. I want to give them someone to turn to when they feel like they have NO ONE they can talk to. I want to help them avoid what I went through. I want to give them hope.

But I'm not really sure how to accomplish that. I've started a facebook group, but that's not much. I need contacts in Texas. I need people to work with, people to support this effort. Because we need to overcome this prejudice, and the shame associated with being gay in the South. We have so *much* we need to do.

We have thousands of kids out there struggling with their identity. Many of them have been brought up in religious environments that make them feel like horrible people because they find themselves attracted to the same sex. And I'm not just talking about GAY kids here - I'm also talking about Bisexuals, transgendered kids, AND gay kids.

We have a large population of adolescents and young people we do very little for. We leave them to their families and communities, many of which are not exactly supportive of their personal, internal experiences. Not that I think they're intentionally non-supportive. Some of them just don't know better, or were just brought up to believe certain things. That doesn't make them bad. But it does make them ill-equipped to help a child dealing with these issues.

When someone is brought up in a religiously conservative environment, the realization that one does not "fit-in" can be overwhelming. Often to the point of self-abusive or suicidal behavior. I don't believe these people want to lose their kids to this kind of depression. But I do believe a lot of these kids need our help.

And I don't think some of these folks are equipped to help them. That's why I think we need more grassroots effort to give these kids the support they need. If it keeps one kid from killing themselves out of shame, it would be worthwhile.

In San Francisco, there has been a long-standing Gay & Lesbian center. No such thing exists in Austin. Even the GSA (gay-straight-alliance) organizations in High Schools are scarce in Texas. And it's time we correct that. These kids NEED our help. They need to know that realizing they are gay is not the end of their world.

Because the fact is, some kids are gay. They can't help that. They can't change that. Believe me, I tried, for over 25 years. Guess what? I was still gay. And I am not alone there. I have met many people in the last 4 years who didn't even admit they were gay until their 30's or 40's.

Being gay is not a choice. Believe me, if it were, I wouldn't be gay. No one wants to be ostracized, or disowned, or hated by people you've never met. But it's something we have to face when we come out, especially for some of us in the South. Places like Texas, and other Southern states, are not exactly hospitable when you come out as gay - or even Bi. God help you if you're transgendered.

But the fact is, these issues come up fairly early for most kids. Like the 4-year-old I had in a pre-school class in the late 80's, who spent his time playing with My Little Ponies with the girls. The child was constantly abused by his peers - despite my best efforts. And the fact is, until the parents down South realize that tolerance is an admirable trait, it will continue.

But people down here won't *learn* tolerance until they understand that even their family members might be part of the glbt community. And those members of the glbt community who are either hiding in the closet, or killing themselves to avoid the pain of ostracization, will not "come out" until we give them a safe means of doing so. Their families won't provide that. So it's up to the rest of us.

It's on our heads when these kids die, or condemn themselves to a miserable marriage to avoid their families rejection. They can't always do this alone. Sometimes, they need help. They need support, like any human being. Maybe that's why the Christian Right really fears books like "My Two Mommies" in school libraries. Maybe that's why they fear gay people - because they fear that their relatives will come out of the closet. Because they're there. I know they are. I was. And they have to know they're there, too.

But those people won't help them. They'll encourage their repression. And that has to change. We have to make that change, by providing an outlet for these people. WE have to give them someone to talk to, who isn't going to judge them based on who or what they are, or who they're attracted to. We have to be the family that isn't always available to them.

Again, it's not that their families are "bad". It's just that glbt folks have been so closeted in the South for so long, that a lot of these families haven't had the chance to get used to the idea. It's as much the fault of those of us who remained closeted, as the relatives who encouraged us to. But the only way to break that cycle is to give people somebody to talk to. We need PR, people.

We need a way to hook up distraught and desperate people struggling with their status to people who will listen. We need to provide a supportive environment for kids who are thinking they'd be better off dead. We need to reach out more. Help more. Judge less.

It's a seed right now. I don't know exactly what to do with it. I have ideas. I will explore them. But if anyone reading has ideas or suggestions to share, I am entirely open to that. Just don't tell me I'm gonna burn in hell. I've been there. I have a few scars, but none of them were burn marks.

I'm Angry.

And I will not take this anymore.

I wrote a previous blog, which is still posted on my other blogs. But now it's time for truth.

HOW. DARE. THEY!

What right does some overweight heterosexual white dude on the Supreme Court in California have to determine if *I* have a right to marry who I damn well please - provided they're an adult of legal age, of course.

What, you want me to marry men? I can testify in court how stupid and destructive (to them AND me) that is. Shall we talk about my PTSD? Or how about my late-ex-husband's suicide?

Are these people as stupid as they appear to be? It would appear so. What right does ANYONE have to tell me who I can and cannot love? No one, that's who. Oh, I know, you'll have your right-wing nutjobs screaming about how next we'll want to marry animals or siblings. That's ludicrous. I love women. I *fall* in love with women. Sleeping with a man makes me suicidal, it's so disgusting. I can't help that. It's HOW I'm wired.

And it's likely how a lot of their relatives are wired - they're just too terrified of their family and friends to admit it. And what purpose does that serve? It creates a lot of artificial heterosexual marriages where people are miserable. I doubt anyone's god intended that.

Don't even get me started on these groups that claim they can "cure" homosexuality. Trust me, if it could be "cured", I would have achieved it in the 26+ years of heterosexual marriages and relationships I had. There's nothing to "cure."

I knew at the tender age of 8, that I was attracted to girls. And I tried my damnedest not to be. But you cannot change who you are. What CAN be changed is this national obsession with hating on homo's. We are JUST like you - except we're attracted to a different sex. A different human, adult sex. It's not like we're child molester's - that seems to be a heterosexual market - or even animal abuser's - I want a woman, not a dog.

But we're treated like sub-humans. We're dismissed, and disenfranchised. Treated like sub-humans. It's wrong, god dammit. It's fucking wrong. I am a GOOD person. My children, the gay, straight, and Bi, are GOOD people. We do the right thing, even when it's inconvenient. We care about people. And it's fucking wrong for so many people to treat us as pariahs.

My kids don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. My FRIENDS don't deserve this. How would THEY feel if I yanked all their humanity from them because they're STRAIGHT!!!??? I am sick and fucking tired of being told what I can and cannot do by a sub-group who cannot even manage their own affairs well. Heterosexuals have a 50% divorce rate - why should I even take you seriously!!!!???? Hell, even as a lesbian married to a man - I never actually divorced him!

But from here on out, my message to the gay community will be this: Get the FUCK out of the closet. Our ship will sink if you aren't on board. People NEED to understand that there are more of us than accounted for in statistics. We need visibility. We need representation. We need unity. We need to be recognized as human beings.

And if that means risking the wrath of your family, church, or community, well, wtf are you waiting for? Do you expect the rest of us to bear societies ire for you? Get out of the goddamned closet and represent yourselves! Stand with your family - the only family some of you may ever be able to count on. Not necessarily your birth family, although sometimes that works. I refer to the family that KNOWS what you are going through, the family that includes gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered folk, as well as a slew of straight folks who support us.

Stop hiding. Come out. Please. For all our sakes. We need to be heard. If we aren't, we'll go down together. If we are, they can't deny us. We have strength in unity. And I know you're out there. If I ran across as many closeted women in my limited experience, and many closeted men, I KNOW there are more of you out there than people are aware of. Come out, come out - wherever you are. We will be stronger together than we are separately. We need you.

I've got to start writing this shit down...

A few days ago, my nine-year-old asked "Mom, who invented this "god" concept?", on the way to school. This was something akin to her oldest sister's third grade query of "Mom, what's abortion? And why are people so mad about it?"

Fortunately, it was afternoon when her big sister asked that question. I could answer then. At 7:30am, I'm lucky to remember my name. So I did what any mother would do first thing in the morning: I told her to ask me later, when I was awake.

So, tonight, when she announced that she "really wished they'd never made up this 'god concept', I had to give her credit for not letting it go. The child has perseverance. So I asked her "Why's that?" And she replied "Well, what if you were friends with somebody who believed in the 'regular god' (Annie's interpretation of Christianity), and you believed in a different god, and they decided they couldn't be friends with you anymore because you didn't believe in their god? What if you were BEST friends, and they quit being friends with you because of what you believe?"

Wow. I didn't see that coming. The child just summed up the major issue of most religions, as I see it, in one sentence. So I asked her if this had happened to her. She said "No. But I only believe in the Egyptian gods." Okay. "Well", I said, "you have a right to believe in whatever gods you want, as do they. But if someone rejects you based on what you believe, I think they're wrong to do so."

I then explained the concept of tolerance. And from there we touched on the history of various religions: Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Muslim, ancestor worship, advaitism, dualism, etc. I then tried to explain the difference between tolerance, and intolerance. Acceptance v. Righteousness.

But that wasn't enough for Annie. First, she wanted to know why there were so many different branches of Christianity. And why they couldn't get along and just form one branch. So we talked about how people get different ideas of right and wrong, and develop different values. About how it wasn't right to condemn somebody just because their beliefs differed from yours.

"So, are they all wrong?" she asks. "Well, no, they aren't wrong. I mean, that is, either they're all wrong, or they're all right. You have to allow that all beliefs are correct, or none of them are. Because what right does a person of one belief have to say that what another believes is wrong? But for that to work, everyone has to tolerate the others' beliefs."

We talked a LOT more. It was wild, and weird. I've never had this conversation with a nine-year-old. We talked about values, and right and wrong. At one point she asked "So, you believe we're all god?" So I said "Well, yes, in a way. I believe we're all connected by the energy we put out, by the decisions we make. We can do the right thing, or we can do the wrong thing, and hurt people."

So she asks "But, what if you can't tell the right thing from the wrong thing?" So I said "Then you do the thing that will hurt people the least. You go with that feeling in your gut that tells you what to do." It was the strangest conversation I've ever had with a third grader.

I have got to start writing this kid's questions down. It'll make a heck of a book someday. When I'm writing about her life, after she becomes a "famous book illustrator." That's her goal. And I'd be shocked if she didn't do whatever she wants to with her life. She's got spunk, this one - and a fascinating intelligence to go with it.

Daughter #3 Can has First Date!

Yes, despite daughter #2's first date with a boy resulting in her coming home and announcing she's gay, daughter #3 left a few moments ago on her FIRST EVER date with a boy. I'll feel even better about it when daughter #2 lands a date with a girl. Nobody wants to see their younger sibling reach a true milestone before them :(

Unfortunately for #2, I suspect #3's date will be a little less of a downer. She's the only daughter I have who I'm fairly certain is well under the "3" mark on the Kinsey scale. My experience with my kids reminds me of Mendel's Law. And given that so far my four daughters have produced one bisexual, one homosexual, and one heterosexual, I'd say his hypothesis was pretty spot on. Although it's somewhat difficult to explain the bisexual - I mean the plants he worked with produced purple flowers and white flowers. It didn't produce white-and-purple flowers.

Just goes to show rules were meant for breaking :) I can't wait to see how #4 turns out. Especially given that so far the 'gay gene' seems to be holding it's own as the dominant gene.

Kids are fun. And sometimes trying - sort of like Jack. Jack, btw, has been astonishingly good since he destroyed the light box. I don't mean a little good, here. I mean he hasn't whined much, he hasn't destroyed anything - he even curled up next to me last night, which he seldom does. I think he knows he's in the doghouse.

That, or he knows it's almost Mother's Day. And my birthday. I was born the day before Mother's Day, in 1963. My mother took great delight in pointing out that I was also born during the TV show "Combat." I can't imagine why she thought that so significant...but my kids have decided that this year we're celebrating Mother's Day - and my birthday - tomorrow. My birthday isn't technically until Monday, but #3 works Monday. And she's doing most of the cooking. See, birthdays around here usually revolve around food. "What do you want to eat for your birthday?" is generally the first question.

So this year, I went with Indian food. Which practically guarantees my kitchen will be officially declared a disaster area Monday morning, but hey, they asked. So Lulu and Annie and I trekked to the nearest Indian Grocer, where Annie announced "This place smells funny!", and Lulu and I spent the next hour examining tons of cool stuff. And frequently asking the young son of the proprietor for help.

We found everything but the Tikka paste, which oddly enough, the H-E-B across the street had in stock. But I suspect I'm going to be working rather hard on Mother's Day - it's a main course with three sides and Puri bread. Oh, and chutney. No one person can do this. I don't even think an India native could do it alone - besides, that's what kids are for.

And while my oldest pulls off Thanksgiving dinner unassisted every year (mainly because we're afraid of going in the kitchen when it's "hers"), the timing on Indian cuisine requires more than one pair of hands, imho. So Ele has been cleaning up the kitchen in preparation for the mess to come, and I'm looking forward to Chana Dal. And chocolate cream pie with chocolate chips - Lulu didn't have time to make dinner *and* a cake, so I suggested pie.

I'm so glad I have kids. Mother's Day just reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for. Times 4. Oh, and neighbors, too. Not only did my next-door-neighbor mow the lawn, his wife sent Annie over with a red carnation, for Mother's Day.

My oldest and I figured out one day that our family is just charmed. Things happen when they need to happen. It's one of those things we've learned to trust. Not everything happens the way we'd like, but everything works out, and in the end, it's good. So while I'm slamming stuff onto eBay to make the next few weeks work out - since not driving the cab has taken some change out of my pocket -I wouldn't trade being at home right now for the world.

Like my other neighbor likes to make me say: It's all gonna be alright.

Dammnit, Jack!

The pile of destroyed Brodart covers littering the floor was bad enough. The blood he got on my background sheet in the light box was bad enough, too. I'm still not sure how he managed to scrape all that skin off his chin.

But this morning, in a coup de grâce, he decided to leap onto the top of the light box. Why he thought this was a good idea eludes me. I'm sure he had his reasons. He is, after all, a cat.

"He" is Jack, of course. Bane of my existence. Drainer of my wallet. And, unfortunately for me, the only cat around here I actually like. I was going to say he's the only cat I've ever liked, but that wouldn't be true. I was quite fond of Purdy, may she r.i.p., but Jack is the first cat to get under my skin since she passed.

And he was quite tricky about it.

He and his sister were about 3 months old when Jack suddenly went into seizures. A little background here - Jack was the result of our household being adopted by his mother, a small tailless tortoiseshell my neighbor had rescued. Her first litter consisted of Jack and Pumpkin. Her second litter resulted from her escape from the premises prior to her appointment with the vet. Those five were re-homed by the SPCA, and Hobbes was 'fixed'.

But we tolerated Hobbes, Jack and Pumpkin. I wasn't thrilled about it, but I figured we could deal with them. It was easier than trying to find someone else willing to deal with them. I thought. And then the seizures started. First I took him to the Animal Hospital behind my house. Turns out, they close on weekends, so they sent him to the animal hospital a few miles down the road. They hooked Jack up to an IV, gave him meds, and waited.

The next day, he was better, and I was about $600 in the hole. So I bring him home, feed him, and he promptly goes into seizures. That's when I realized it was the cat food. Duh. His mom and sis just went psycho and acted like they were chasing invisible mice when they ate it. I thought all cats did that. But Jack was sensitive, and he seized every time.

So we pitched the canned Friskies (after filing a complaint), and I began trying different brands on them - this was during that big cat food scare about a couple of years ago, and Friskies had not been listed as contaminated, but it was. Eventually, I found he could (and would) eat the Whiskas in the foil pouches. We now go through two boxes a week. The little bastard wouldn't eat dry food if he was starving - we've tried starving him.

This is a testament to how attached I am to this little heathen. I spend a small fortune on his food. I tolerate his whining. I forgive him for all the stupid crap he does. But this morning, he outdid himself.

He hopped up on the secretary next to the photo table. Before I could begin to stop him, he made a leap for the top of the light box - a flimsy, but normally adequate construction created from a cardboard box and many sheets of tracing paper. I use it to photograph the books I'm trying to sell. I was about to use it this morning. To put a few books on Fleabay.

Instead, I had to reconstruct three sides of it. In between cursing Jack. At this point, I need a nap. Or a drink.

Anybody want a cat?