I'm Angry.

And I will not take this anymore.

I wrote a previous blog, which is still posted on my other blogs. But now it's time for truth.

HOW. DARE. THEY!

What right does some overweight heterosexual white dude on the Supreme Court in California have to determine if *I* have a right to marry who I damn well please - provided they're an adult of legal age, of course.

What, you want me to marry men? I can testify in court how stupid and destructive (to them AND me) that is. Shall we talk about my PTSD? Or how about my late-ex-husband's suicide?

Are these people as stupid as they appear to be? It would appear so. What right does ANYONE have to tell me who I can and cannot love? No one, that's who. Oh, I know, you'll have your right-wing nutjobs screaming about how next we'll want to marry animals or siblings. That's ludicrous. I love women. I *fall* in love with women. Sleeping with a man makes me suicidal, it's so disgusting. I can't help that. It's HOW I'm wired.

And it's likely how a lot of their relatives are wired - they're just too terrified of their family and friends to admit it. And what purpose does that serve? It creates a lot of artificial heterosexual marriages where people are miserable. I doubt anyone's god intended that.

Don't even get me started on these groups that claim they can "cure" homosexuality. Trust me, if it could be "cured", I would have achieved it in the 26+ years of heterosexual marriages and relationships I had. There's nothing to "cure."

I knew at the tender age of 8, that I was attracted to girls. And I tried my damnedest not to be. But you cannot change who you are. What CAN be changed is this national obsession with hating on homo's. We are JUST like you - except we're attracted to a different sex. A different human, adult sex. It's not like we're child molester's - that seems to be a heterosexual market - or even animal abuser's - I want a woman, not a dog.

But we're treated like sub-humans. We're dismissed, and disenfranchised. Treated like sub-humans. It's wrong, god dammit. It's fucking wrong. I am a GOOD person. My children, the gay, straight, and Bi, are GOOD people. We do the right thing, even when it's inconvenient. We care about people. And it's fucking wrong for so many people to treat us as pariahs.

My kids don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. My FRIENDS don't deserve this. How would THEY feel if I yanked all their humanity from them because they're STRAIGHT!!!??? I am sick and fucking tired of being told what I can and cannot do by a sub-group who cannot even manage their own affairs well. Heterosexuals have a 50% divorce rate - why should I even take you seriously!!!!???? Hell, even as a lesbian married to a man - I never actually divorced him!

But from here on out, my message to the gay community will be this: Get the FUCK out of the closet. Our ship will sink if you aren't on board. People NEED to understand that there are more of us than accounted for in statistics. We need visibility. We need representation. We need unity. We need to be recognized as human beings.

And if that means risking the wrath of your family, church, or community, well, wtf are you waiting for? Do you expect the rest of us to bear societies ire for you? Get out of the goddamned closet and represent yourselves! Stand with your family - the only family some of you may ever be able to count on. Not necessarily your birth family, although sometimes that works. I refer to the family that KNOWS what you are going through, the family that includes gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered folk, as well as a slew of straight folks who support us.

Stop hiding. Come out. Please. For all our sakes. We need to be heard. If we aren't, we'll go down together. If we are, they can't deny us. We have strength in unity. And I know you're out there. If I ran across as many closeted women in my limited experience, and many closeted men, I KNOW there are more of you out there than people are aware of. Come out, come out - wherever you are. We will be stronger together than we are separately. We need you.